June 2004

Today, I was discussing with my mother on my heart felt wish to make a pilgrimage to see Lord Murugan in Sri Lanka at Kathirgamam. My mother, too, wanted to go see Him but I wanted it to be a true pilgrimage. By this I wanted to only go thinking of my Lord and no-one else. I wanted discussions only to be about Murugan so that my thoughts and feelings can be in tune with the ambition of having the darshan of Sri Skanda.

However, my mother, as usual, said that she could not go anywhere without bringing my father, who is not as spiritual as my mother and rarely partakes in discussions about God. Hence, when it comes to spirituality, I usually feel uncomfortable talking to him about God. I don’t know why, but I hope God will excuse me for this unexplainable consternation. Anyway, my mother said that she could not undertake this pilgrimage if my father didn’t come along with her. And our conversation ended with those words.

Last night I had a dream that we were going to see Lord Murugan in Sri Lanka. The land seemed foreign as I noticed we were travelling on an orange-dirt road which had not yet been paved.

In the car was my father, my mother, myself and my twin sister. When we got to a certain point, we got out of the car and started walking towards what I presumed to be the direction of a temple.

At a distance were two figures, a man and a lady. As we came closer, I was able to note the attire of the two figures. The lady was dressed in a green sari and was standing to the right of the man, who was wearing a white colored veshti with a red border with gold-colored stitchings worn in a brahmin-style. They were both smiling at us. The man appeared to be a priest because He (Murugan?) was wearing a poon-nool and had vibhuthi markings all over His forehead, hands, and chest. He had gold jewelry around His neck. I then recognized Him – it was the priest at our local Murugan temple (in whose form I visualize Murugan). He was smiling at me with an amazing smile that showed His glistening white teeth (the exact same smile I have previously seen in my former dreams with Murugan).

When He saw me He yelled [in Tamil], “Dai [my name], enakkaaga pakka vandhu-ti yaa? [‘Did you come all this way to see me?]”

Before I could answer, He then ran over to me and gave me a big hug. I was surprised because the priest at our local temple never greets me with this type of admiration let alone this amount of physical contact. As He embraced me, I looked at the lady (Valli?) who was accompanying Him and She only smiled back at me. I then awoke.

I realized the mistake I had made earlier in my conversation with my mother and at once told her that it was wrong of me to be judgemental and decide who are Murugan’s devotees. As far as Murugan is concerned, all are His faithful children. It was a grave mistake on my part to think of myself as being a “better” or more “spiritual” than my father. This dream showed me that Murugan welcomes the pilgrimage by our family, which includes my father.